Can I leave now?

So I had an idea to finally grab life by the balls & go do everything I ever wanted. I threw it all away so I could go travel round France for a few months. Incorporate myself with the local lifestyle, work out there picking fruit & shizzle. I wanted to immerse myself & hopefully find some meaning to my life along the way.

Now, now I'm going to party with P Diddy in Cannes & live it up with a bunch of English guys on a beach in Spain. This is not a journey of self discovery. This is a glorified holiday. A long holiday & one I have taken many times before.

I don't want to sweat it out listening to mediocre music with other English people. I don't want to have thrown it all away to be with English people. The whole idea was to get AWAY from the Brits! Now even the stalker ex will be there!

How is this a journey of self discovery! I am not happy. I am not excited & quite frankly I don't feel like going!

This may be a last minute panic attack, but I'm having it anyway!


  1. Bonjour, Alix! I bet, after this little panic attack, you don't want to be hearing this. However, I feel like a little French is needed for you.

    Don't worry! Trust your instincts, and you will have a fantastique time!

    I know, that you don't think that you will be doing what you want to, as you will be immersed with us Brits. But that can all be a part of the experience. If they are all there, why don't you just drop everything, and leave to where you know they can't find you? It's scary and spontaneous, but maybe, just by doing that, you can find yourself...

    Just a wee' thought.

    Cheer up, my love. You are going to have an amazing time. Je sais ainsi.

    Je t'aime! xxx

  2. Maybe for the whole trip you should refuse to speak English and pretend to be French, this pretencie could help? Wow your ex is going to France and Spain just to see you, effort! Great blog by the way! And I'm sure the last minute paniic will be unjustified! :) Why don't you just tell him not to bother?

  3. Thank you both for your comments. They were actually really nice to wake up to.

    I think I just got rather worked up. It can be difficult when you have a strong vision for something & then you are required to incorporate someone else's ideas into it. I think the trip will be amazing, so long as I actually allow it to be, instead of being a Lindsay Lohan level crank!!!

    It doesn't help that the stalker ex is attending Beni, but I will learn to build a bridge & get over it & enjoy it anyway!

    Thank you both for giving me a mental slap! Appreciated!

    Merci mes amis, je t'aime aussi. :) x

  4. That's a much better attitude! It seems from your blog tat you have everything to look forward to! A lot of people struggle to get away and you've got two months to enjoy yourself! And surely its a massive festival, will you even see him? And what would be the worse if he did! We've all hgad some awful ex'es but he can't be that bad surely!

  5. Indeed. Unfortunately he is that bad believe me. Maybe I'll post ze evidence one day, jokes! I'll just slope around on the down low in an attempt to avoid. You'd be surprised how easy it is to bump into peeps at even the largest festivals! I have witnessed this first hand! :S

  6. Oh no that doesn't sound good! If he is that bad, maybe its an idea to get some authorities involved, epsecially if you think he could do something at the festival? wwhy is he going, simply to stalk you? Some people are unreal!

  7. Thankfully I don't think he's that mental...I hope! Although pimping round a festival with an entourage of bodyguards could actually be kinda cool. Hmmm...[wistfully dreaming] He said he didn't know my friend & I were going, despite the fact that we had made it public knowledge for months beforehand. I think he may have moved on now anyway, so I could be safe.

  8. Lol Bodyguards would be big pimpin'. Well you never know he may not have known, if he's in to festivals and stuff as well! Then again if he's going by himself it is pretty strange!

  9. I think I could defo werk the Bodyguard look! ;) I believe he is attending with friends. If he turned up alone then I would defo worry for the poor boy's mental health!

  10. Lol that would be some crazy shizzle! Would be worse if he turned up with a girl!don't crowd surf whatever you do, could end up next to him! Anyway less abouyt him and just concentrate on having an amazing time, look forward to reading some of your other posts!