31.1.11

To the murky depths I go!

I have been exceptionally sickly of late.  My nose has procured its own waterfall, which in any other location would be beautiful, however, it's actually just annoying & kinda gross.  All this temperature raising has lead to sheer laziness, mostly consisting of BBC iPlayer & my big cosy bed!  So, I do apologise if your literature has suffered in my absence!  One shall try one's best to improve the situation!

Now, I may be shouted at by many an individual over what I am about to declare, but I shall go forth & declare it anyway!  I have made the decision that, although a solid man shape packed year has gone by, I can no longer live without The Ex, I wish for him to be Mr Now!

I can't help it, I swear I can't!  Love is an irritating little habit that I simply can't kick, for however hard I try, the itch keeps returning, begging to be scratched.  I've tried blocking him on Facebook.  Deleting his number.  Erasing all of his emails.  But it's simply no good.  I cannot deny how I feel!

So, perhaps in my lunacy, I unblocked him on Facebook & sent him a message.  I didn't quite declare my undying love for him, but I did attempt, in my most non-stalkerish, nonchalant way, to make it clear that feelings were still lingering & my door was firmly open, should he wish to make a visitation, sometime, anytime, now in fact.

Obviously the main hurdle in this predicament is The Replacement.  She is beautiful, but, she kind of reminds me of a cream cake.  All sweetness & light, no real substance.  I've got depth (haven't I?), mainly brought on by my many annoying habits, issues & ailments, but still, surely I'm ever so slightly more exciting on some vague level...Perhaps.

Well, I've given my all, I've laid my cards on the table, said my peace.  If he so chooses to continue in his existence without me by his side, I shall simply have to accept this & move the hell on!  Possibly onto some hawt French men in gay Paris, or some built Americans on vacay in Italy (did I mention we may stop by at the end of our European exchange?).

There are plenty more fish in the sea, it's just annoying when you catch something decent & it slips through your fingers & back into the open water, never to be seen again.

C'est la vie mes amis, c'est la vie!

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