To the murky depths I go!

I have been exceptionally sickly of late.  My nose has procured its own waterfall, which in any other location would be beautiful, however, it's actually just annoying & kinda gross.  All this temperature raising has lead to sheer laziness, mostly consisting of BBC iPlayer & my big cosy bed!  So, I do apologise if your literature has suffered in my absence!  One shall try one's best to improve the situation!

Now, I may be shouted at by many an individual over what I am about to declare, but I shall go forth & declare it anyway!  I have made the decision that, although a solid man shape packed year has gone by, I can no longer live without The Ex, I wish for him to be Mr Now!

I can't help it, I swear I can't!  Love is an irritating little habit that I simply can't kick, for however hard I try, the itch keeps returning, begging to be scratched.  I've tried blocking him on Facebook.  Deleting his number.  Erasing all of his emails.  But it's simply no good.  I cannot deny how I feel!

So, perhaps in my lunacy, I unblocked him on Facebook & sent him a message.  I didn't quite declare my undying love for him, but I did attempt, in my most non-stalkerish, nonchalant way, to make it clear that feelings were still lingering & my door was firmly open, should he wish to make a visitation, sometime, anytime, now in fact.

Obviously the main hurdle in this predicament is The Replacement.  She is beautiful, but, she kind of reminds me of a cream cake.  All sweetness & light, no real substance.  I've got depth (haven't I?), mainly brought on by my many annoying habits, issues & ailments, but still, surely I'm ever so slightly more exciting on some vague level...Perhaps.

Well, I've given my all, I've laid my cards on the table, said my peace.  If he so chooses to continue in his existence without me by his side, I shall simply have to accept this & move the hell on!  Possibly onto some hawt French men in gay Paris, or some built Americans on vacay in Italy (did I mention we may stop by at the end of our European exchange?).

There are plenty more fish in the sea, it's just annoying when you catch something decent & it slips through your fingers & back into the open water, never to be seen again.

C'est la vie mes amis, c'est la vie!

Too early for a Spring clean?

I have actually been making good on one of my resolutions, through daily, yes daily(!) exercise!  I have been accompanying the mère on Mr Piggle's daily walk into town & back (he likes the shops, true story).  I can almost feel my thighs shrinking as we speak!

I have even been making sure to make the most of my lunch hour (when I do actually go to work, a seemingly rare occurrence), by walking the 10 minutes to the local supermarche.  Although, I'm sure the pork pie (my current obsession, actually ama-ziiing with sweet chili dipping sauce!  Swear down!) & handful of Cadbury's caramel eggs are not assisting in the thigh shrinking.  Damn it!

I am aiming to be exceptionally productive this month (let's see if it can stretch to the year...pfft, who are we kidding), in fact, this very eve I shall be attempting to work out how to sell shizzle on eBay, so I can finally get rid of my (not gonna lie) pink wrought iron single bed & some ceiling lights that have been taking up room...well...everywhere!!!  Any takers please come forth with cash (for shoes) in hand.  Merci.

During a late night Facebook stalk peruse, I had the great displeasure of witnessing The Ex with The Replacement having a gay ol' New Year's Eve time with the in-laws out in New York.  Couldn't just go to London, no?  I'm not gonna lie, try & big myself up, there were tears.  Small hot ones.  However, after much rage I have come to the ultimate conclusion that, as I in no way would like to have The Ex back, it is time to get a grip & move the hell on!

Immediate blocking of the pair has been put into action, which has already made me feel slightly more content.  I want to be able to look him in the eye one day & say (possibly through gritted teeth), "I'm happy that you're happy" but only if I can be ten times happier than he'll ever be!  I think that's a fair compromise.

In between all of this hatin' on, I have actually managed to hit the shops for the first time in FOREVER!!!  Got me some bargains!  Wooop Wooop!!!  Topshop & I should never be parted really, bar chocolate, I might as well be on a Topshop IV drip in order to actually survive!

The clogs (not a great fan of that name really, reminds me of gnomes for some reason) were £10!!!  The other heels were £15 & the jersey was £12.99 (H&M, my bit on the side).  Can't deny it really!

Unfortunately, I'm actually really short on everything but shoes, so bar the top, I don't think I've really helped myself out here really...Hmmm...Meh, shopping is shopping.  There's nothing I like more in life than spending money, except spending other people's of course!

Now, let's hit up my bitch eBay & get me some more dollar to spend!!!  I got me some new cloth to buy!

What a conundrum...

I think that everyone should have at least one precious piece & I am thankful enough to have two!  Two beautiful Mulberry bags.  The first was a 21st gift & the second I purchased when I was twenty three.  Unfortunately, the statistics do seem to indicate I wont be getting another one until I'm twenty five...Hmmm...

I introduced The Ex to The Mulberry & he now owns a few pieces, along with a lot of Hugo Boss, which I also lovingly introduced him to.  Isn't it annoying when you put so much effort into people & then someone else benefits from the spoils.  I'm sure The Replacement thinks him rather debonair & the height of sophistication...If only she knew...(Bitter, me!? Non!)

Is it wrong that every suitor goes through a makeover in my mind beforehand?  Most probably, however, I think it's definitely something most woman do.  Or maybe I just tell myself this to put off the thought that perhaps I am just a little bit on the peculiar side.

I do think though, although one's dress sense is a direct reflection of one's personality, there is always room for tweaking, without completely killing off one's individuality!  A bad shoe here, a poor accessory choice there (when will men learn, rosary beads only look good on woman of the church!), it doesn't take much to put a woman off a man, believe me.

Men should accept woman's tweaking, they mean well & let's face it, when all's done & dusted, he'll move on to someone new & most likely hotter (a new wardrobe is a clear indication of a step up on the hot scale, surely!) & she'll move onto her new project.  Ah, we do love a project.

Perhaps the real question men should ask themselves is, if she's looking at me, is it 'cause I'm hot to trot, or simply in need of an image overhaul?