Happy Boxing Day!

Today has mostly been spent taking Mr Piggles for his Boxing Day walk, watching my new French films & eating the Girdlebuster I made...

Unfortunately, although I am twenty four years old, I am still teething (evil wisdom tooth), the pain of which is putting me off eating.  There is so much food in the house, I don't know if we'll ever get through it!  I haven't even made my festive bubble & squeak with bacon, poached egg & hollandaise sauce!  Maybe tomorrow.

Pig Post!

Mr Piggles is completely worn out by the festivities.

Joyeux Noël!

Joyeux Noël mes amis!

The day has finally arrived.  All the gifts under the tree have been unwrapped.  I spent three hours butchering & cooking the goose.  About ten minutes eating it.  Several more hours moaning about how full I felt.  Two hours napping it off.  A few more bits of snacking when I woke up & now I'm contemplating making the 'girdlebuster pudding'.

[groan]

I hope you're having an equally gluttonous Christmas Day!

x

Love Affair

It's Christmas Eve!!!

So it is officially the beginning of the feast!

The cheese platter is out...

& the champagne cork has been popped!

Only so many more hours & the big day will be here & we'll all be able to open our gifts!

Yay!

Merry Christmas Eve everybody!

x

Love Affair

This Christmas, I have decided to go all out & make mince pies...from scratch!

I made my own mincemeat & even learned how to sterilize jars!

Then I made my own pasty.  Unfortunately...I wasn't as good at that.

So my mince pies don't look quite as good as Nigella's, but they taste good.  Honest!

Zooey Deschanel or Peggy Lee?

I have come to the conclusion that Zooey Deschanel is the vocal reincarnation of Peggy Lee. Fact!

Love Affair

As you may or may not know, I have a growing love for menswear.  Well today, in my usual perusal of Zara's men's section on their website, I came across this small faux leather suitcase & fell suitably in love!

It's stylishly traditional, in that old English gent kind of way.  Definitely practical for short city breaks (did I mention I'm off to Berlin in January?) & best of all, it's only £99.99!

Who needs a man in order to buy menswear!?  Although, if you do have a [stylish] man in your life, this could be a perfect gift for under the tree this Christmas...

Love Affair

Now that the weather has turned bitterly cold, it is officially time to snuggle up & pull on the socks.  But socks don't have to be boring, especially when they're fair isle knit & come in an array of appealing colours!

Toast have a wonderful selection of socks, both long & short, at reasonable prices.  They also do the best cashmere bedsocks!  I have a pair in cerise which have been keeping my paws warm at night.  Unfortunately Mr Piggles likes them very much too & has nibbled a few holes in them.

If you're still looking for Christmas gift ideas...

Love Affair

Despite only being paid yesterday...I may have already spent a substantial amount of it already...Ooopsy.

In the process of ordering some Christmas gifts on Zara's website, I got a little distracted by this beauty & decided, encouraged by mère, to purchase it.

My gift to myself.

Only then I saw that the biker boots I nearly cried over when I thought they were out of stock, were BACK in stock!  So naturally I decided to get them too...

Another gift to myself?  Why not.

Oooh I do love the Christmas season!

There's a tarantula in the bathroom!

Getting myself out of a depressive black spot, can sometimes be extremely difficult.  Recently they have been few & far between, which for a manic depressive (I refuse to use the term bipolar, it only draws images of Britney Spears & Kerry Katona & I for one refuse to be associated with either of those two) such as myself, is pretty good.

Usually it's the little things that seem to draw the most response.  Pumping myself full of sugar & caffeine, by way of three cans of Coke, usually kick-starts the proceedings.  Then it's the beloved French films on the iPlayer (2 Days in Paris is my absolute favourite!).  Talking with friends always helps & Christmas gift ideas go a long way to pulling me into a different space (even if the holiday season is three months away).

Unfortunately, I am now having to make the enforced decision of quitting step one altogether.  Coke.  It is the Devil's drink after all.  Plus, & this brings me onto the title of this post, it has diuretic effects, leading me to pee a trillion times a day!  In fact, it was on my one millionth trip to les toilettes, that I peered up & saw, what was essentially, a tarantula.  Midnight peeing, combined with lethal arthropods equals moi acknowledging I need to QUIT!

Plus, I finally went for my interview with the recruitment agency on Friday, so I am 'this' much closer to having a job in London!  Living by the coast & working in the city requires exceptionally early starts, which at current I struggle with.  In fact, I struggle to get up for work at eleven.  I am therefore worried.  Six am wake-up calls, dark mornings, cold walks to the station.  Did I make the right decision!?

Being unable to get to bed before midnight is also a factor in my morning haze.  One am, two am, I've been known to crash at three am, even on a school night.  But alas, it is not I, it once again can be blamed on the Coke!  You see, caffeine has a tendency to stay in your system for a shockingly long time & makes your body unable to benefit from deep sleep.  Bastard soda!  You win again!

Nope, as of tomorrow, it is l'eau all the way!  Even when the six ice cold cans sitting neatly in the refrigerator stare up at me when I go to grab a slice of bread (fridges are the new bread bins don't ya know), I shall ignore their glares & turn away.  If not for my bladder, if not for my (much needed beauty) sleep, than for my ever increasing thighs!!!

I gained two pounds before I left for La Grande Aventue.  Then a further five pounds while out there (I'd like to say from all the fine dining, but I wouldn't want to lie to you like that...).  When I returned, I made a valid effort to stay on the straight & narrow.  No Coke (clearly that didn't last).  No MaccyD's.  No takeaways.  No chocolate (surprising easy!).  No crisps.

It was salad for most of August & you know what, when I went to Findon to see Miss Dunn the other week, I'd lost seven pounds!  Which was great.  The only problem being that, once I lose weight, I see it as a battle won.  I seem to go into celebration mode & start to over consume high fat, high calorie foods again.  So now, although I have not been weighed yet, I have seemingly regained some of that weight.  Well, fat!

Mostly it seems to wish to absorb into my thighs.  I can handle my body.  I like it.  It's been abused in numerous ways on numerous occasions, but I still like it.  The only thing I can't handle?  Chaffing!  I'm not even kidding you.  Everyone I whine to thinks I'm making it up, or over exaggerating, but it's true!  It's that really annoying bit of residual fat that loves to linger at the very top of my inner thighs, taunting me.

It keeps me awake at night, I swear!  If I could just get rid of it, I'd be a happy woman.  Well, y'know, until my next 'episode'.  But then we'll reach for the DVD collection, grab a pen & paper & start writing out my gift list.

2010 in pictures...

the first Pimms of the Summer...

followed by many more

perfecting the art of baking

the obsession of the Summer...Kopparberg

looking like a tourist in Barcelona

late August spent chillaxing in the Spanish mountains

well, you can't deny a Nando's

cocktails & tempura (Lava Bar, we miss you)

the everyday strive to diet...

and the obligatory fail

 discovering that fireworks are the boomting

Christmas, the finale to it all

Bonne Annee mes amis!

So, the end of the year is nigh & thank ferigno for that!!!  I have come to realise that my Christmas cheer has died a miserable death & along with it, all hope for the holiday season in general.  I shall not be looking forward to NYE, in fact I shall be celebrating on New Year's Day instead.  Celebrating the beginning of a new year, which will hopefully be better than the year before, which was considerably under par!

To save me from myself, I have been savouring Uffie's album, Sex Dreams & Denim Jeans, as recommended by Ellie, via Hous of Belles.  Its electro beats have been filling me with a mild glimmer of hopefulness.  I'll be pumping it into my car on the two hour ride to Brighton tomorrow.

To add insult to my self-inflicted injuries; You know it's bad times when Mulberry let you down!!!  Mr Piggles' jumper arrived today & talk about disappointment!  Not only was it a friggin' vest (I ask you!), but it wouldn't even fit over his head!  A chihuahua would struggle to fit in this thing!  Ruined my stylish snuggle dreams.  [small tears]

Let's all hope for better things come the 1st of January.  'Cause I certainly will be...dag nab it

Well, this little laydee has found herself a bluebird!

Finally ventured out of my hole thanks to Ellie, who spontaneously decided to come rescue me.  Checked out the yocal establishments & was pleased with the results.  Had ourselves some wine, got ourselves some Sheesha & finally met some men shapes!!!  Wooop Wooop!

I was impressed in my inebriated state, however, I am reserving judgement in the cold light of day.  It's hard when someone's hot to trot, but one mustn't allow oneself to be fooled by good looks...& decent kisses...

Now that the time of celebrating my homeboy Christ has come to an end, I think the Christmas coma must also be brought to an abrupt conclusion.  The time for organisation, vague early starts & some job hunting is on the cards!  I will not rest until I have secured myself a decent, wardrobe rejuvenating income, dag nab it!

In the meantime, it'll be catching up with Pretty Little Liars (I have Viva after all!) & snuggles with Mr Piggles!

Joyeux Noel mes amis!

Due to the lack of gift giving this year (bad times), I did not feel the excitement or usual urgency to arise from my pit at some reDONKulous time in the morning.  Therefore I rolled out of bed just before noon & am now contemplating putting the dinner on.  As previously mentioned, turkey has been given the boot & goose was ruled out due to the sheer size of it, so we have decided upon guinea fowl...as you do.  We still have pigs in blankets (standard!) & goose fat roast potatoes, so not all is lost!  Am secretly (not so secretly) looking forward to watching The Grinch at three & oooh er, a bit of a showdown on Eastenders...Now that really is standard!

My complete lack of Christmas cheer has unfortunately resulted in an epic Christmas coma!  Afternoon wake-up calls, combined with pre-evening naps.  High sugar consumption.  Lethargy is a bitch!  However, my dwindling mood has been uber boosted by the eye-spying of the Mulberry sale & most importantly, Mr Piggle's jumper being reduced!  Wooop Wooop!!!  His fairisle jumper is now purchased & will be floating its way to my door shortly!  A small glimmer of Christmas cheer is sneaking its way back to me as we speak...

Honesty is the best policy!

Sometimes it can be difficult to know what to write, especially when you are torn between that which you wish to write & that which you think you should be writing about, i.e, what people will read.  But perhaps, in the same way in which you should dance like nobody's watching, you should write like nobody's reading.

So, I step forward into the honest light, in the hope that it will shine some clarity onto my current predicament.

Having spent seven months living independently, coming home is like falling into a bed of feathers.  It's comforting, but it's also dangerous (suffocation anyone?).  Being around mère instantly makes me fall into an inane sense of dependency upon her.  I can't even help it!  Unfortunately, due to this, I seem to be losing my sense of self.

Firstly, it was robbed by my incessant working life, having abandoned that, I am now handing it over for an easy life.  I feel I may be going round in circles here!

So perhaps, once the Christmas coma, which I believe is due to be enforced, is finally over & done, it will finally be time to focus my erratic mind on going forward & realising what it is I actually do want to do with my life/house/wardrobe!

I would like to hope that once these details have finally been smoothed to a botox injected complexion, I may actually be able to once again turn my attention to the men shaped flames that I know still exist...somewhere!  It would help if The Ex would bugger off dream stalking me!  I do not need the confusion of falling asleep to your face, thank you very much!

[yawn]  Now to get some (much needed) beauty sleep!

Bonne nuit!

'Tis the season to be...miserable?

Somewhere along the snow edged lines, I have completely unutterably lost my Christmas cheer!  Perhaps it is the lack of gift giving & receiving, or the fact that I am miles away from 'home', but I feel as though Scrooge & I are merely separated by a chromosome or two.

Mère & I were propelled to finally indulge in the Christmas food shop this evening & by God, it's hard!  First off, hunting down a goose at this late stage is très hard, clearly preparation is key!  We did, however, manage to find one, but it was absolutely ginormous & exceptionally expensive.  Clearly didn't think this whole thing through.  As it is just the two of us for Christmas this year, (lonely, who, what, me?) it did seem extortionate to spend over fifty pounds on a gargantuan bird!  We also have family friends who have a pet goose, Gordan (I named him myself, no lie!) & so I felt a little bit guilty looking down at this plucked, wrapped, deceased relative.  Perhaps next year.

Although, I have now made the decision that I shall be spending Christmas & New Years Eve 2011 in Paris!  Whatever happens, I am determined to save up (once I actually have employment again, obvs) & go to my parisienne neighbours to celebrate the festivities.  England is clearly not providing me with the festive cheer I so require.  You would think that the snow would somehow be a plus point, helping to create this picture postcard effect, however, it just seems to be a mega pain in everyone's arse!  I for one shall be quite happy when it finally decides to bugger off!

I would like to think, come the New Year, that I shall at least attempt to be a more organised, healthy living individual, although I expect spending New Year's Day at Ministry with Ellie & our ol' friends James & Jas from Simian Mobile Disco, will not help to get the year off to a clean living start.  Hmmm.

I think I need to obtain new full-time employment sharpish!  One's grooming has gone so far down hill, it's rolled into the next town!  Not only did I have to relinquish my nails, resulting in my new ten year old boy hands, but the brows have lost their shape too.  In fact, in a bid to rescue at least one thing, I decided to do my roots & although I used the same ash blonde as before, my hair is now somehow darker!  I ask you!

Not only do I need a cash injection pronto, but I clearly need a beauty one too!  By the time I get to France, I'll already look like a native with growth in places there definitely should not be!  Oh woe is me!  My pitiful state is only worsened by Ellie's increasing transformation into the UK's version of Kim Kardashian!  She's the only person I know who wears four inch heels to the garden centre & damn it, I admire her for it!  Despite working an average of three days a week, I do not have the enthusiasm or energy to be that groomed, even if I might wish to be!

I'm off to stain some wood...Oh what a glamorous life I do lead!

When we talk, we talk & when we rant...

Yesterday was one of the longest days of my life!  No lie.  After arriving late for work in Canterbury (time keeping was never my strong point), a blizzard decided to break out & after watching its progress for just over two hours, my manager finally decided that maybe she should send everyone home.

Not only did it take two people to push my tiny auto-mobile out of the carpark, it then took me two hours just to get down the road.  After about three hours I got a phone call from my manager to say everyone else had made it home a-okay, which really didn't help my dwindling enthusiasm, as I had traveled all of about three miles.  By the time six hours had passed & after not having eaten or drunk anything all day, I was starting to question my overall ability to get home & maybe a few tears attempted to gather in the corners of my eyes.  But I held back, if not for the fear of dehydration.

The agonising journey was only made worse by the passengers from the cars ahead of me popping off to get Maccy D takeaways!  Bastards!  Due to me being alone (all alone), I was unable to abandon ship & run towards the nearest festive menu!

By the time I got within about five miles to home, I was finally able to (vaguely) put my foot down.  I've never been so grateful to be able to drive at twenty five miles per hour in my entire life!

Nine & a half hours it took me to drive the twenty mile journey home.  All I have to say is that snow is satanic & should be destroyed at all costs!

Most importantly, it pin points the complete & utter failings of the British Government & its inability to budget!  Come on Cameron, Clegg, other countries seem to survive just fine when the Devil's work falls upon its streets, but we as a nation, fall apart & come to a complete standstill!  More money needs to be pumped into prevention, rather than a cure.  Not that you've done much towards that either!

On another level & far from the bane of snow, I have recently been witness to some FB abuse in regards to this blog, from, what I can only describe as, ignoramuses.  It is laudable considering the intellect of these individuals.  Their idea of fun is mastrobating over a game of COD.  I'm surprised they could actually understand half of what I write, well, maybe with a dictionary to hand.  Well, well done you.  I'm happy that your FB comments have made your day.  I shall avoid further ranting by the successful deletion & blocking of you.  Job done.

On a lighter note, I have actually been rather productive this afternoon (why rise before twelve!?).

Not only have I successfully written & posted all of my Christmas cards (lovingly adorned with exclusive Mr Piggles stamps), but I have actually bathed Mr Piggles (with the help of mère, his attempts at escaping are so unnecessary)!  He may pretend not to like it, flaring him paws out at acute angles whenever nearing the bathroom, but once in, I think he secretly enjoys it.  At least he now looks & smells so fresh & so clean clean!

I have also been reunited with my love of Peep Show!  I have fully caught up-to-date with the whole of series seven today whilst continuing the painting of my bedroom (you see, I have been productive!).  Literally love that show!

God bless 4oD & BBC iPlayer, that's all I can say!

All good things come to an end

I've come to the conclusion that due to unemployment & the subsequent late nights, I have unset my body clock & am now completely incapable of going to bed at a reasonable hour & rising before noon!  Which is going to be somewhat troublesome, as I need to be up bright & early tomorrow for my official moving day!

After less than eight months in the Wells, four poorly made relations with men shapes & some ups & downs, the time has come for me to start again...again!

Goodbye Lava Bar, with your reasonably priced cocktails & delicious tempura.  Goodbye P&P with your familiar crowd & impossibly packed dance floor.  Goodbye Topshop, only a mere walk away.  I shall miss you all.

I have 99.9% packed & yet, my room still seems so full.  Twelve HUGE boxes & four bags, how can there possibly still be more!?  Moving is defo hardcore!  But at least by this time tomorrow I shall be reunited with Mr Piggles!!!  First thing I'll do once I've arrived is give him a BIG ol' hug!  Second is pop up the Christmas tree!  I may get round to unpacking at some point in time.  Probably would have been wise to have labeled the boxes, but y'know, I thought about it & then...At least this way it'll be like unpacking roulette.  Which is obviously more fun!

During my tying up of loose ends, I went to pick my post up from the old abode (clearly didn't do a great job of tying those ends up the last time) & amongst it I had a card.  Was obviously hoping it would be the first of many Christmas cards, but alas no.  It was a card to wish me well on the first anniversary of my dad's death, from the Hospice.  Cheers, would of been nicer if you'd have sodding spelt my name right!

On a better note, all this packing has made me forget to eat, so the diet's going well!  May even shift a few pounds, before I lovingly put it all back on over Christmas.

Outside of moving, I am off to see Johnny Flynn with Ellie on Saturday night in Brighton, which should be good.  Also rather excitingly, just booked tickets to see Everything Everything, who are performing at the Forum in the Wells on the 15th of January!  A snap at £8.00!

I'm off to get some chocolate...

The price of being a bum

I arose this afternoon from my pit with the feeling that, yes, I am now one of the great unemployed!  It hadn't quite hit me until now, as, due to the snow, I wouldn't have made it into the office in any case.  But now, the sky has cleared to blue & the streets are once again visible & the realisation that I am now without a job has begun to hit me!

Late nights, afternoon wake up calls & a consistent intake of sugary goods...Things could go horribly wrong.  By the time I actually get myself new full-time employment, I could be obese!

Another thing about being a bum is the fact that if you're not working, it turns out, you're not earning either!  Who'd have thought!  Clearly not I.  Although I may not be stressing about Christmas, as previously mentioned, gifts were thrown out of the window a few months ago, I am rather concerned about my wardrobe!

As I am of the female variety, one of my everyday thoughts & main concerns is the cloth that straddles my bare naked body.  No matter how many clothes, shoes, general accessories you may have, you will never have enough!  As with my childlike face, everything ages & any new outfit will soon become old hat, last season, outright boring.  Therefore, a monthly top-up is necessary!  But with no job & therefore no money, my wardrobe is going to suffer hardcore!  I really didn't think this through...

To occupy my time & distract me from my wardrobe hell, I shall be reconnecting with my love of musik.  I've already gained new love for Chromeo (ooo), not least because David Macklovitch is hot to trot, but also because, y'know the electro beats fill me with small bubbles of joy.  Don't Turn The Lights On & Needy Girl possibly being my top two favourites.  I recently saw them live at the Roundhouse in London with Ellie & they were ama-ziiing!  Had the pleasure of meeting A-Trak as well (name dropping, who, what, me?), who was also looking rather dashing. On another level, although I'm not a huge Ellie Goulding fan (stop throwing things at me...please), I have been recommended The Writer (oooh, I wonder why) & I'm loving it, so it's defo being pumped into my daily playlist.

I think the time has come to start thinking about maybe having a shower, putting some clean clothes on & avoiding the Jeremy Kyle saga...Well, I'll start thinking about it...