Things need to change. I can see that I have been stuck in a rut of my own creation lately & I don't like it. It scares me. I'm scared that I won't find happiness or contentment & I don't wish to find either of these things from outside sources. They need to come directly from me.
Gandhi said, you need to be the change you wish to see in the world. I feel I understand this now more than ever. I need to change. I see in my mind all the things I wish to do & to be. It's as if I have become so used to seeing them in my mind, that I forget to actually manifest them in true form!
All these picture perfect moments, these rose tinted lives, they're not just someone's Instagram account, or posts on a blog. They're real moments. Ones that we can create simply by doing instead of talking. We are constantly speaking of our dreams, speaking of these perfect scenarios that we do nothing to create.
There was this moment, this perfect moment, several years ago (six to be exact), when I stopped dreaming, when I stopped speaking & went out & just DID! I did all those things I dreamt about & I truly lived & enjoyed my life & in that moment I was fearless!
Somewhere along the line I gave that part of me away. I let go of that freedom & I returned to my dreams, where I felt safe, because they were safe & untouchable & unbreakable. But now I am ready to break out again, because if I don't, if I remain in my dream world, I will simply lose myself to it & forever remain broken in reality. I will otherwise never be content. I will never truly be happy & most of all, I won't ever truly be living.