We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year.

Things need to change.  I can see that I have been stuck in a rut of my own creation lately & I don't like it.  It scares me.  I'm scared that I won't find happiness or contentment & I don't wish to find either of these things from outside sources.  They need to come directly from me.

Gandhi said, you need to be the change you wish to see in the world.  I feel I understand this now more than ever.  I need to change.  I see in my mind all the things I wish to do & to be.  It's as if I have become so used to seeing them in my mind, that I forget to actually manifest them in true form!

All these picture perfect moments, these rose tinted lives, they're not just someone's Instagram account, or posts on a blog.  They're real moments.  Ones that we can create simply by doing instead of talking.  We are constantly speaking of our dreams, speaking of these perfect scenarios that we do nothing to create.

There was this moment, this perfect moment, several years ago (six to be exact), when I stopped dreaming, when I stopped speaking & went out & just DID!  I did all those things I dreamt about & I truly lived & enjoyed my life & in that moment I was fearless!

Somewhere along the line I gave that part of me away.  I let go of that freedom & I returned to my dreams, where I felt safe, because they were safe & untouchable & unbreakable.  But now I am ready to break out again, because if I don't, if I remain in my dream world, I will simply lose myself to it & forever remain broken in reality.  I will otherwise never be content.  I will never truly be happy & most of all, I won't ever truly be living.

x

We were caught up & lost in all of our vices

It was one of my favourite people's birthday on Sunday; Miss Charlotte Wall from The Tea Drinking English Rose & to celebrate, on Monday, myself, Charlotte & our friend Suz spent the day in Whitstable.

Thankfully the weather held out & it was lovely, sunny & warm for the most part.

We strolled along to the beach, popping into all of the cute little shops along the way.  There were several with the most amazing flowers for sale.  I wanted to buy them all!  I should buy flowers more often, the house seems so much nicer when it's filled with flowers.

When we got to the beach we stopped for a spot of lunch.  I went with scampi, Kent Beer battered sausage & chips!  I didn't manage to finish it all, but it was pretty yum.  I may have been pretty full, but I still managed to find room for a butterscotch ice cream afterwards.  Naturally!

After a cute day at the beach, the three of us went back to the car & had a slice of the lemon cake I'd made for Miss Wall's birthday.

I spotted this bit of artwork on a wall along the way & it pretty much summerised how I was feeling.

x

If only you & I remain.

Last week one of my favourite people, Sir Fleming, came down for a visit.  This was our first reunion since becoming ex-roomies.  Two months have flown right by & my time in London seems like a year ago now!

The weather wasn't too shabby, sunny with a chill in the air, but a definite improvement on the past few months & thankfully no rain!

It was lunchtime by the time Sir Fleming arrived, so we headed straight to The Greedy Cow Deli for lunch.  I will admit to spending far to much time in this establishment!  The food is just so good though!

I think I may have a serious addiction to pulled pork!  I keep trying to lose weight so I can get a thigh tattoo...but then I hang out with my friends & fall into eateries.  My bad.

[sigh]

We took a stroll around town whilst our food went down, although, we may have inadvertently picked up some sweets from Mr Simms' Olde Sweet Shoppe along the way.  Can't rely deny the pick 'n' mix counter.

Then we got a bit snap happy in The Turner Gallery & SF got himself a souvenir from the gift shop.  I find although they change their exhibitions quite frequently, none of them are much to write home about to be honest.

 

I couldn't really let SF go home without a cake & shake from the Cupcake Cafe.

SF & I strolled along the sandy beach back to the train station & said our goodbyes.  I'm hoping it won't be another two months 'til I see my ex-roomie again!

x

I've got that summertime, summertime sadness.

The past week & a half has quite frankly been filled with nothing but stress, work & then to top it all of a bout of sickness.  I am finally feeling a lot better, although not 100% & I have one more day of work (unfortunately in London) & then two days off.  Phew.

Before all this stress began, I had a lovely visit from two of my favourite people, Suz & Miss Wall.  Originally only Miss Wall was going to come over, as Suz had other plans & then they surprised me by turning up together, which made my day.

The weather was unfortunately icy cold, but we strolled down to the Old Town nonetheless & went for lunch at The Greedy Cow Deli, which is by now becoming a haunt of mine.

I decided to try out the Gents Burger this time round.  A combination of beef burger, bacon, black pudding, salt beef slices & I threw in some cheese for good measure.

My stomach was so full I actually nearly died.  We still popped next door for milkshakes afterwards though & then we took a chilly stroll to The Turner Gallery to check out the new installations.

We did a spot of shopping afterwards in town & then unfortunately Suz had to go home.  Miss Wall & I took to our pjs & popped on The Perks Of Being A Wallflower before heading to bed.

In the morning we walked back to the Old Town for a sugary breakfast at The Cupcake Cafe.

I was sad to see Miss Wall go, it was so lovely spending time with both her & Suz.  I'm fully looking forward to celebrating Miss Wall's birthday next Monday though, hopefully the weather will be nice!

x