What a conundrum...

I think that everyone should have at least one precious piece & I am thankful enough to have two!  Two beautiful Mulberry bags.  The first was a 21st gift & the second I purchased when I was twenty three.  Unfortunately, the statistics do seem to indicate I wont be getting another one until I'm twenty five...Hmmm...

I introduced The Ex to The Mulberry & he now owns a few pieces, along with a lot of Hugo Boss, which I also lovingly introduced him to.  Isn't it annoying when you put so much effort into people & then someone else benefits from the spoils.  I'm sure The Replacement thinks him rather debonair & the height of sophistication...If only she knew...(Bitter, me!? Non!)

Is it wrong that every suitor goes through a makeover in my mind beforehand?  Most probably, however, I think it's definitely something most woman do.  Or maybe I just tell myself this to put off the thought that perhaps I am just a little bit on the peculiar side.

I do think though, although one's dress sense is a direct reflection of one's personality, there is always room for tweaking, without completely killing off one's individuality!  A bad shoe here, a poor accessory choice there (when will men learn, rosary beads only look good on woman of the church!), it doesn't take much to put a woman off a man, believe me.

Men should accept woman's tweaking, they mean well & let's face it, when all's done & dusted, he'll move on to someone new & most likely hotter (a new wardrobe is a clear indication of a step up on the hot scale, surely!) & she'll move onto her new project.  Ah, we do love a project.

Perhaps the real question men should ask themselves is, if she's looking at me, is it 'cause I'm hot to trot, or simply in need of an image overhaul?

Bonne Annee mes amis!

So, the end of the year is nigh & thank ferigno for that!!!  I have come to realise that my Christmas cheer has died a miserable death & along with it, all hope for the holiday season in general.  I shall not be looking forward to NYE, in fact I shall be celebrating on New Year's Day instead.  Celebrating the beginning of a new year, which will hopefully be better than the year before, which was considerably under par!

To save me from myself, I have been savouring Uffie's album, Sex Dreams & Denim Jeans, as recommended by Ellie, via Hous of Belles.  Its electro beats have been filling me with a mild glimmer of hopefulness.  I'll be pumping it into my car on the two hour ride to Brighton tomorrow.

To add insult to my self-inflicted injuries; You know it's bad times when Mulberry let you down!!!  Mr Piggles' jumper arrived today & talk about disappointment!  Not only was it a friggin' vest (I ask you!), but it wouldn't even fit over his head!  A chihuahua would struggle to fit in this thing!  Ruined my stylish snuggle dreams.  [small tears]

Let's all hope for better things come the 1st of January.  'Cause I certainly will be...dag nab it

I'm not only shocked that Isabelle Caro has died (aged only 28!), but I'm more shocked that it happened nearly two months ago (November 17th) & it's taken until now to be publicised!!!  I'm taking this as a constant reminder to E.A.T.!!!  Sad times.

O.M.Ferigno.G!  Have found my new LOVE!!!  Carri Mundane!  How have I not come across this absolute G before!?  She is an English fashion designer, with her own label (CassesttePlaya) & she has styled the likes of M.I.A. & The Klaxons.  Am head over heels right now...

 

Plus, she's friends with A-Trak!  Hot to trot?  Yesh shmesh!

Finally got round to putting A-Trak's Dirty South Dance 2 album onto my iTunes & have been having an earwig.  Gotta be honest, wasn't fully convinced at the start, but it's growing on me, a bit like leprosy.  Gonna give it some of my precious time, see how things work out.  Think the fact that he's hot to trot is helping him to be honest.  Also downloaded Barbara Streisand (finally!) by Duck Sauce, (A-Trak's collaboration with Armand Van Helden) & it's been boosting my mood no end.  Bring on New Year's Day!

I'm suffering some casualties of late.  First I destroyed my brand new MAC blush, (I now have half of it left!) during a drunken bag fumble (when will I learn!?) & then Mr Piggles decided to snack on my mitten!  Pffft!  Bad times man!

Well, this little laydee has found herself a bluebird!

Finally ventured out of my hole thanks to Ellie, who spontaneously decided to come rescue me.  Checked out the yocal establishments & was pleased with the results.  Had ourselves some wine, got ourselves some Sheesha & finally met some men shapes!!!  Wooop Wooop!

I was impressed in my inebriated state, however, I am reserving judgement in the cold light of day.  It's hard when someone's hot to trot, but one mustn't allow oneself to be fooled by good looks...& decent kisses...

Now that the time of celebrating my homeboy Christ has come to an end, I think the Christmas coma must also be brought to an abrupt conclusion.  The time for organisation, vague early starts & some job hunting is on the cards!  I will not rest until I have secured myself a decent, wardrobe rejuvenating income, dag nab it!

In the meantime, it'll be catching up with Pretty Little Liars (I have Viva after all!) & snuggles with Mr Piggles!

Can't deny my skillz!

Joyeux Noel mes amis!

Due to the lack of gift giving this year (bad times), I did not feel the excitement or usual urgency to arise from my pit at some reDONKulous time in the morning.  Therefore I rolled out of bed just before noon & am now contemplating putting the dinner on.  As previously mentioned, turkey has been given the boot & goose was ruled out due to the sheer size of it, so we have decided upon guinea fowl...as you do.  We still have pigs in blankets (standard!) & goose fat roast potatoes, so not all is lost!  Am secretly (not so secretly) looking forward to watching The Grinch at three & oooh er, a bit of a showdown on Eastenders...Now that really is standard!

After catching the ending of The Chronicles of Narnia (actually forgot that film existed), I had the pleasure of hearing Regina Spektor play out the credits.  How did I forget her!?  Think I need to purchase her last album & reacquaint myself.

My complete lack of Christmas cheer has unfortunately resulted in an epic Christmas coma!  Afternoon wake-up calls, combined with pre-evening naps.  High sugar consumption.  Lethargy is a bitch!  However, my dwindling mood has been uber boosted by the eye-spying of the Mulberry sale & most importantly, Mr Piggle's jumper being reduced!  Wooop Wooop!!!  His fairisle jumper is now purchased & will be floating its way to my door shortly!  A small glimmer of Christmas cheer is sneaking its way back to me as we speak...

P.S. I think The Foals & I have some catching up to do...

Honesty is the best policy!

Sometimes it can be difficult to know what to write, especially when you are torn between that which you wish to write & that which you think you should be writing about, i.e, what people will read.  But perhaps, in the same way in which you should dance like nobody's watching, you should write like nobody's reading.

So, I step forward into the honest light, in the hope that it will shine some clarity onto my current predicament.

Having spent seven months living independently, coming home is like falling into a bed of feathers.  It's comforting, but it's also dangerous (suffocation anyone?).  Being around mère instantly makes me fall into an inane sense of dependency upon her.  I can't even help it!  Unfortunately, due to this, I seem to be losing my sense of self.

Firstly, it was robbed by my incessant working life, having abandoned that, I am now handing it over for an easy life.  I feel I may be going round in circles here!

So perhaps, once the Christmas coma, which I believe is due to be enforced, is finally over & done, it will finally be time to focus my erratic mind on going forward & realising what it is I actually do want to do with my life/house/wardrobe!

I would like to hope that once these details have finally been smoothed to a botox injected complexion, I may actually be able to once again turn my attention to the men shaped flames that I know still exist...somewhere!  It would help if The Ex would bugger off dream stalking me!  I do not need the confusion of falling asleep to your face, thank you very much!

[yawn]  Now to get some (much needed) beauty sleep!

Bonne nuit!

On the hunt for a coffee table for the living room.  My first choice is always Graham & Green for their bone inlay & embossed metal pieces.  Didn't manage to find the right thing I was looking for, however, I did stumble upon a few other bits I am now drooling over...

I would love the floor length mirror for my bedroom.  I think it would look magnifique next to my pale French grey walls!

I really really really want an old skool phone!  I think they're the bees knees, not gonna lie!

This would defo look faboosh in our hallway!

Is it wrong to like these?  They do a similar one which is designed to be a hook.  Think this too would look nice next to my grey walls.  Perhaps the real question is; is it wrong to love my wall colour this much!?

Whatever happened to Lady Gaga!?  Her originality used to make me smile, I used to obsessively watch her music videos on You Tube before her tracks were available in the UK & I thought she was ama-ziiing when I saw her perform live at the o2 with Charlotte.  But now, it's like she's gone to the extreme & I can't quite decide if I like it or not.  Sometimes it just reeks of headline grabbing desperation.  I think it's those heelless shoes that adorn her feet.  Oh Gaga, wont you come back to me on some relatively sane level?

In the words of Feist, 'there's a limit to my love'.

'Tis the season to be...miserable?

Somewhere along the snow edged lines, I have completely unutterably lost my Christmas cheer!  Perhaps it is the lack of gift giving & receiving, or the fact that I am miles away from 'home', but I feel as though Scrooge & I are merely separated by a chromosome or two.

Mère & I were propelled to finally indulge in the Christmas food shop this evening & by God, it's hard!  First off, hunting down a goose at this late stage is très hard, clearly preparation is key!  We did, however, manage to find one, but it was absolutely ginormous & exceptionally expensive.  Clearly didn't think this whole thing through.  As it is just the two of us for Christmas this year, (lonely, who, what, me?) it did seem extortionate to spend over fifty pounds on a gargantuan bird!  We also have family friends who have a pet goose, Gordan (I named him myself, no lie!) & so I felt a little bit guilty looking down at this plucked, wrapped, deceased relative.  Perhaps next year.

Although, I have now made the decision that I shall be spending Christmas & New Years Eve 2011 in Paris!  Whatever happens, I am determined to save up (once I actually have employment again, obvs) & go to my parisienne neighbours to celebrate the festivities.  England is clearly not providing me with the festive cheer I so require.  You would think that the snow would somehow be a plus point, helping to create this picture postcard effect, however, it just seems to be a mega pain in everyone's arse!  I for one shall be quite happy when it finally decides to bugger off!

I would like to think, come the New Year, that I shall at least attempt to be a more organised, healthy living individual, although I expect spending New Year's Day at Ministry with Ellie & our ol' friends James & Jas from Simian Mobile Disco, will not help to get the year off to a clean living start.  Hmmm.

I think I need to obtain new full-time employment sharpish!  One's grooming has gone so far down hill, it's rolled into the next town!  Not only did I have to relinquish my nails, resulting in my new ten year old boy hands, but the brows have lost their shape too.  In fact, in a bid to rescue at least one thing, I decided to do my roots & although I used the same ash blonde as before, my hair is now somehow darker!  I ask you!

Not only do I need a cash injection pronto, but I clearly need a beauty one too!  By the time I get to France, I'll already look like a native with growth in places there definitely should not be!  Oh woe is me!  My pitiful state is only worsened by Ellie's increasing transformation into the UK's version of Kim Kardashian!  She's the only person I know who wears four inch heels to the garden centre & damn it, I admire her for it!  Despite working an average of three days a week, I do not have the enthusiasm or energy to be that groomed, even if I might wish to be!

I'm off to stain some wood...Oh what a glamorous life I do lead!

When we talk, we talk & when we rant...

Yesterday was one of the longest days of my life!  No lie.  After arriving late for work in Canterbury (time keeping was never my strong point), a blizzard decided to break out & after watching its progress for just over two hours, my manager finally decided that maybe she should send everyone home.

Not only did it take two people to push my tiny auto-mobile out of the carpark, it then took me two hours just to get down the road.  After about three hours I got a phone call from my manager to say everyone else had made it home a-okay, which really didn't help my dwindling enthusiasm, as I had traveled all of about three miles.  By the time six hours had passed & after not having eaten or drunk anything all day, I was starting to question my overall ability to get home & maybe a few tears attempted to gather in the corners of my eyes.  But I held back, if not for the fear of dehydration.

The agonising journey was only made worse by the passengers from the cars ahead of me popping off to get Maccy D takeaways!  Bastards!  Due to me being alone (all alone), I was unable to abandon ship & run towards the nearest festive menu!

By the time I got within about five miles to home, I was finally able to (vaguely) put my foot down.  I've never been so grateful to be able to drive at twenty five miles per hour in my entire life!

Nine & a half hours it took me to drive the twenty mile journey home.  All I have to say is that snow is satanic & should be destroyed at all costs!

Most importantly, it pin points the complete & utter failings of the British Government & its inability to budget!  Come on Cameron, Clegg, other countries seem to survive just fine when the Devil's work falls upon its streets, but we as a nation, fall apart & come to a complete standstill!  More money needs to be pumped into prevention, rather than a cure.  Not that you've done much towards that either!

On another level & far from the bane of snow, I have recently been witness to some FB abuse in regards to this blog, from, what I can only describe as, ignoramuses.  It is laudable considering the intellect of these individuals.  Their idea of fun is mastrobating over a game of COD.  I'm surprised they could actually understand half of what I write, well, maybe with a dictionary to hand.  Well, well done you.  I'm happy that your FB comments have made your day.  I shall avoid further ranting by the successful deletion & blocking of you.  Job done.

On a lighter note, I have actually been rather productive this afternoon (why rise before twelve!?).

Not only have I successfully written & posted all of my Christmas cards (lovingly adorned with exclusive Mr Piggles stamps), but I have actually bathed Mr Piggles (with the help of mère, his attempts at escaping are so unnecessary)!  He may pretend not to like it, flaring him paws out at acute angles whenever nearing the bathroom, but once in, I think he secretly enjoys it.  At least he now looks & smells so fresh & so clean clean!

I have also been reunited with my love of Peep Show!  I have fully caught up-to-date with the whole of series seven today whilst continuing the painting of my bedroom (you see, I have been productive!).  Literally love that show!

God bless 4oD & BBC iPlayer, that's all I can say!

After re-listening to one of her albums, I have come to the conclusion that I am still whole heartedly in love with Feist (real name Leslie Feist)!  I saw her with The Ex a year or two ago, at the Royal Albert Hall & she was amazing!

Her third album, The Reminder, is my favourite album of all time & Sorry is my tip top favourite song ever, especially with lyrics like "I'm sorry, two words I always think, after you've gone, when I realise I was acting all wrong.  So selfish, two words that could describe, oh actions of mine, when patience is in short supply".  It brings back some fond memories, as well as some bad, but is most definitely timeless & somewhat mesmerising.

I'm still waiting on her fourth album, however, she has yet to release it here in the UK (she's Canadian), which is a bummer.  May have to do some research into locating & purchasing it.  If you're thinking to yourself, 'I haven't a scooby doo who Feist is', I shall have to remind you of the Apple iPod Nano advert a few years back.

  Ringing any memories?

The mind boggles

It's very difficult to actually motivate myself to look for a job I know I don't want!  However, France requires me to suck it up & get myself some income.  It's only for six months, that's what I need to remind myself of.

Plus, once France has been achieved, I will then have the time & ability to search for something spectacular to partake in on a daily basis.  Unless I happen to find some amazingly well paid part-time work!  Oooh er, just imagine!

As referenced in my previous post, I gave up trying to do the ordinary & decided upon taking the path less traveled.  So I gave my full-time job up, without one to replace it (risky) & have returned from whence I came!  Back to mère & Mr Piggles!

Let's see, what are my passions in life, things I might actually enjoy being paid for...Well firstly there's writing.  I think that's a given.  If Perez Hilton can become substantially wealthy & well known from writing a blog, well dag nab it, so can I!  (She says, losing followers by the day...)  Plus, he's not even grammatically correct in most of his posts, which only drives me wild with contention, so much so I've stopped reading his blog altogether!

Then there's the interior design aspect.  I mean, what's not to love about upholstery & wall coverings!?  If it didn't require training then that would be superbangtidy!

Baking ama-ziiing looking & tasting (does help) cakes & shizzle.  Nothing better than whipping up some banoffee cupcakes when the call of the sweet tooth (fang in my case) calls!

Oooh, maybe I could open the faboosh tea room I've built up in my head!.  I mean, this could include all three hobbies: I could write the menus (that counts, right?), design the interior & then obviously bake the cakes!

Now, would this be in England (quintessentially English tea room, florals & cup cakes) or France (white distressed furniture & croissants).  Decisions decisions.

However, I'll probably get to France & they'll all dislike my English sensibilities & inability to speak the language correctly, even after two years of evening classes...

Such are the choices I must face in life & it's such a hard life one does lead!

Sometimes you have to take a step back, in order to take a step forward

Everyday we are boxed into believing that this is it.  Working in a dead end job nine to five, struggling to make ends meet, the general daily grind, with marriage & children nicely parked at the end.  That's all we should expect & adhere to.  But I say no, that's not what my life is made of!  If that's it, well, I'd rather end it now.  Why let life be so predictable, why stay within the lines that other people choose to draw around you.

You have an entire world to explore, billions of people to meet & experience a world of possibilities with.  Why choose to ignore that?  Well, I guess people do it out of fear.  A fear of failure, that the choices they make, might just turn out to be the wrong ones.  That possibly they'll end up destitute & alone.

I admit, that yes, that could happen.  But maybe taking the risk, no matter if you fail or succeed, would be better than what you were doing before, living a life in a safe house of your own making.

After all, isn't life for living?

I have at times & up until recently allowed myself to fall back into my comfort zone.  Working six days a week to live, what is essentially, a very basic existence.  Work, TV, Eat, Sleep, Party.  But I no longer want this cycle to rule my life.  Yes, it may be simple, easy & most importantly safe, but people throw themselves out of planes for Christ's sake, just to avoid feeling any of those things & you know what, they enjoy it!  Yes, they could die, but they would have died doing something they loved, something that brought them joy.

If you died today, could you really look back on your life & think 'yep, I did everything I wanted to, I'm content'?  'Cause I for one wouldn't!

Sometimes in life, you have to make the decision to follow your own thought process, to take a leap of faith & trust that, even if you fail, you made the right decision.  Because at the end of the day, there is no wrong or right, just the eventual consequences of your actions.

God gave you the ability to dream for a reason.  You have a mind, yet you choose not to use it.  If you want to do something, take a chance & do it.  What's the worst that could happen?  It's better to regret that which you have done, than that which you never had the courage to.

In the words of someone far more talented than I (not hard really), "You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."

I may be a bum, but I'm a happy one.

Bought the new Maccabees album today, a snip at £5.99 from iTunes (yes, I actually pay for my music, shock horror!) & am loving it just as much as their debut album, Colour It In.  Some songs are sounding a bit replica of their originals, but, can you fault it?  Well, I say no, no you bloody can't!  Yes, I know the album came out in February, but it has taken me until now to get around to purchasing it, however, as previously mentioned, now one is (sort of) unemployed, I have time on my hands to dedicate to my first love - musik!

Looks like I'll be on the hunt for Maccabees tickets then...

My house will be a home!

When it comes to the roof above your head, it is irrelevant as to what size or style, however, the contents are very much important.  Although most men see decorative accessories as bits of annoying tat, I myself see them as the little crack fillers that give four blank walls some personality.

After forcing myself out of bed this morning, (lethargy is a bitch), I decided to re-invigorate this very impersonal space.  In fact, the more I cleared, the bigger the house seemed to become & suddenly I realised, we NEED more furniture!!!  Not that I need an excuse to go shopping!  Now, just to find some money...

I have decided upon French grey for my bedroom walls.  I think my cerise pouff will look magnifique next to it, even if I do say so myself.

Oooh, I must confess I had a McDonald's today for the first time in an age & went straight for the festive menu!  Oooh lala.  Mère & I got one of each & split them, so we could have full impact value.  Both were ama-ziiing, but the Chicken & Bacon was suuuperb!!!  Scrummylicious!  Defo a recommendation!

Upon checking up on the availability of the Mulberry jumper for Mr Piggles, (very disappointingly, they have now sold out of the M & L!  Bad times), I came across the most b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l. shoes in the world!!!  If only I had £350 to casually spend...I could always pimp myself out...

Coastal blues

Moving from a reasonably sized town, with close connections to the city, to the South East coast, is a bit like moving from New York to Alabama!  I'm like a Caribbean Reef Shark, whose been caught & is now being forced to live inside the confines of an incredibly small goldfish bowl!

London is now a two hour train ride away & everything here seems so backwards in coming forwards.  Perhaps I've fallen into some kind of black hole, whereby no one knows the meaning of fashion designers or decent eateries.  I'm just keeping France in mind, 'France, France, France'.  Maybe if I repeat it enough, I won't go insane & forget what Urban Outfitters is!

In fairness, once the morbid weather improves & the house &, most importantly, my bedroom are finished, I may begin to feel a wee bit more settled & a lot more content.  Packing boxes don't really create a relaxed atmosphere!

Helping me through, as always, is mère & Mr Piggles.  I don't think you can fully appreciate a parent more than when you're down to just one.  'Cause y'know, then you're in the vulnerable position, like if they die, you'll officially be an orphan, not just a semi-orphan!  Now that is some hardcore scare tactic for keeping in touch, if ever I saw one!

Mr Piggles & I had some lovely snuggles last night, but unfortunately, he appears less than chipper today.  (No, he did not catch cooties off me, thank you!)  Thinking it might be time to find him a new coastal vet & take him for an MOT.

To save me from this madness, I have at least discovered that men do actually exist in this area of the world!  In fact, during my Chinese this evening, it appeared as though the entire male population of Canterbury decided they too fancied a spring roll.  I would like to say they were all top dollar, however, due to my severe blindness (& refusal to wear my glasses), their possibly gorgeous faces were all just a blur to me.  They were definitely men though, glasses or no glasses, I can sense that much testosterone several miles away...& I liked it!

Has the time come when, once again, I start to feel that silly pull of loneliness, which only drives me to date impractical men & then discover that, actually, "I think I'm better on my own"?  Perhaps, just need to actually meet someone now!

Fun at The Gun

I finally made my move to the coast on Friday & was happily reunited with Mr Piggles.  His little pug face made all the stress & heavy lifting worth it!  Got the tree up & decorated, unfortunately however, my Christmas cheer was dampened when my phone decided to go kamikaze & leap off the kitchen table & onto the tiled floor.  A severely shattered screen does not bode well.

One sleep down & I was back to town for my final day at work & then when that was over it was straight to St. George's Church in Brighton with Ellie, for a bit of Johnny Flynn, who's been supporting Mumford & Sons on their recent UK tour.  It was a beautiful setting with a bar lit with fairy lights (oooh I do love a bit of good lighting), mulled wine & some amazing talent, including the supporting acts.  If only every visit to church was this good, I might become one of the congregation!

After that we hopped back to Findon & went straight to The Gun Inn, for a little tipple or two (three, four...five).  The Gun is most definitely our favourite place to be!  It's run by the gorgeously youthful Sally, who runs front of house & her very talented husband Lewis, who creates the menu's delights.  It's got great staff & we're always made to feel welcome, so much so we maybe forgot to leave when the doors were ready to be closed!

This fine Sunday morning we picked up Ellie's grandparents & headed back to The Gun for a spot of lunch.  Ellie had the belly of pork, which is always melt in your mouth ama-ziiing & I went for the turkey.  My first of the season!  Thinking I'm not as big a fan of it as previously thought.  May I suggest goose this year?  A shared sticky toffee pudding accompanied by vanilla ice cream, was the perfect ending to a rather scrumptious lunch.

After five hours of driving in two days, I am DONE!  [yawn]

Got my first day working in Canterbury tomorrow, mild apprehension setting in.  Until then I'm going to enjoy a snuggle on the sofa with Piggles, chocolate in hand & the X Factor results on the TV.  Oooh eeer!

All good things come to an end

I've come to the conclusion that due to unemployment & the subsequent late nights, I have unset my body clock & am now completely incapable of going to bed at a reasonable hour & rising before noon!  Which is going to be somewhat troublesome, as I need to be up bright & early tomorrow for my official moving day!

After less than eight months in the Wells, four poorly made relations with men shapes & some ups & downs, the time has come for me to start again...again!

Goodbye Lava Bar, with your reasonably priced cocktails & delicious tempura.  Goodbye P&P with your familiar crowd & impossibly packed dance floor.  Goodbye Topshop, only a mere walk away.  I shall miss you all.

I have 99.9% packed & yet, my room still seems so full.  Twelve HUGE boxes & four bags, how can there possibly still be more!?  Moving is defo hardcore!  But at least by this time tomorrow I shall be reunited with Mr Piggles!!!  First thing I'll do once I've arrived is give him a BIG ol' hug!  Second is pop up the Christmas tree!  I may get round to unpacking at some point in time.  Probably would have been wise to have labeled the boxes, but y'know, I thought about it & then...At least this way it'll be like unpacking roulette.  Which is obviously more fun!

During my tying up of loose ends, I went to pick my post up from the old abode (clearly didn't do a great job of tying those ends up the last time) & amongst it I had a card.  Was obviously hoping it would be the first of many Christmas cards, but alas no.  It was a card to wish me well on the first anniversary of my dad's death, from the Hospice.  Cheers, would of been nicer if you'd have sodding spelt my name right!

On a better note, all this packing has made me forget to eat, so the diet's going well!  May even shift a few pounds, before I lovingly put it all back on over Christmas.

Outside of moving, I am off to see Johnny Flynn with Ellie on Saturday night in Brighton, which should be good.  Also rather excitingly, just booked tickets to see Everything Everything, who are performing at the Forum in the Wells on the 15th of January!  A snap at £8.00!

I'm off to get some chocolate...

The truth shall out!

At times you are forced to question, not only your decisions in life, but also your beliefs.  In a world where you feel like an outsider & everyone else seems to succeed but you, it's hard to stand tall & believe in yourself.

Today has been one of those days.  I have been pushed to my absolute limit & back again.  Despair has a tendency to show its face & ending it all, from time to time, actually seems like a good option.

But I will not be defeated by a hideous beast of a man, I shall not be beaten down by people who would stoop so low as to bad mouth me behind my back.  No, if anything, I will pick myself up & persevere & make good on the promises I made to myself, to do something spectacular with my life.

These things are sent to try us, to push us, to see if we want the things we want enough to pick ourselves up & try & then try, oh & try again, until we succeed & prove them all wrong.

I am a firm believer in karma & those that choose to do things out of spite & selfishness will only have themselves to blame when a cascade of poor fortune falls upon them!

So my friends, please believe that the fortune you seek in life will only come from the actions you take yourself & not of others or luck.  That family is most definitely what you make it & if someone shows them self to be anything less than honorable, you don't have to associate with them, even if you share the same DNA.

I am simply pleased that those who wear masks have revealed themselves, so that I may know the truth.

Peace out hombres.

The price of being a bum

I arose this afternoon from my pit with the feeling that, yes, I am now one of the great unemployed!  It hadn't quite hit me until now, as, due to the snow, I wouldn't have made it into the office in any case.  But now, the sky has cleared to blue & the streets are once again visible & the realisation that I am now without a job has begun to hit me!

Late nights, afternoon wake up calls & a consistent intake of sugary goods...Things could go horribly wrong.  By the time I actually get myself new full-time employment, I could be obese!

Another thing about being a bum is the fact that if you're not working, it turns out, you're not earning either!  Who'd have thought!  Clearly not I.  Although I may not be stressing about Christmas, as previously mentioned, gifts were thrown out of the window a few months ago, I am rather concerned about my wardrobe!

As I am of the female variety, one of my everyday thoughts & main concerns is the cloth that straddles my bare naked body.  No matter how many clothes, shoes, general accessories you may have, you will never have enough!  As with my childlike face, everything ages & any new outfit will soon become old hat, last season, outright boring.  Therefore, a monthly top-up is necessary!  But with no job & therefore no money, my wardrobe is going to suffer hardcore!  I really didn't think this through...

To occupy my time & distract me from my wardrobe hell, I shall be reconnecting with my love of musik.  I've already gained new love for Chromeo (ooo), not least because David Macklovitch is hot to trot, but also because, y'know the electro beats fill me with small bubbles of joy.  Don't Turn The Lights On & Needy Girl possibly being my top two favourites.  I recently saw them live at the Roundhouse in London with Ellie & they were ama-ziiing!  Had the pleasure of meeting A-Trak as well (name dropping, who, what, me?), who was also looking rather dashing. On another level, although I'm not a huge Ellie Goulding fan (stop throwing things at me...please), I have been recommended The Writer (oooh, I wonder why) & I'm loving it, so it's defo being pumped into my daily playlist.

I think the time has come to start thinking about maybe having a shower, putting some clean clothes on & avoiding the Jeremy Kyle saga...Well, I'll start thinking about it...

And so, it all began...

You'd think with constant Facebook & Twitter updates, there would be nothing left to say, but with only 140 characters how can there not be more to life!?

I've finally made it out of the burrow & back to the nest & sacre bleu, the tree has been erected!  It looks magnifique!  I have to say that Christmas really is my favourite time of the year!  I am exceptionally sad though that I have not made it back to Paris this year, I was hoping to hit up the Christmas markets!  But alas, time & money have restricted me.  I shouldn't complain, considering I shall be spending over a month in France next Summer!  Ah, I cannot wait, although, summer seems like a lifetime away at the moment.

The current snowy conditions have restricted my move to the mothership, meaning more time away from Piggles!  It feels as though forever has passed since I last set eyes on his silly little pug face.  I shall very much look forward to snuggles on the sofa with him in his Mulberry jumper.  Which reminds me, mère called to confirm the arrival of Mr Piggles' exclusive stamps!!!  I have witnessed the pictures & they look amazing!  I am très excited!  Nothing says Christmas more than stamps of your dog!  Especially when his head is adorned with antlers!  Ah, the swell of pride in my tiny frosty little heart!  It's a wonder why people choose to reproduce when you can receive so much more happiness & joy from a little tiny furry creature!

On a different note, I have received shocking news (& when I say receive, I actually mean I saw via Facebook stalking perusing, although, in my defense, it appeared on my homepage), SB has finally nabbed himself a girlfriend!  Over three years & he finally decides to make it official with someone.  Has it really come to the point where I must actually let go!?  I mean, he was kinda always my reserve, like when he was ready I'd be there, but now, someone new has stolen his little creamy heart of gold & it must be serious if he's Facebook confirmed!  [sigh]  Another person to let go of...

This moving on thing is actually really bloody hard & exceptionally annoying.  Facebook doesn't help, I mean, even when you block someone it's pointless, 'cause you just get desperate & unblock them!  Look at the Gimp situation!  Although, thankfully I have moved on to a great degree on that front.  Good progress.  [patting oneself on the back]  Having said this, as you finally take steps to move on from one person, you desperately cling to another, like a life support jacket.  I guess there's always that fear of being alone, completely alone.  But maybe that's what I need.  I've spent so much time trying to distract myself with the help of other people, I've never really dealt with anything!  Maybe I really do need to be alone, to rest & recuperate & remember that I was once a nice girl, not the cold frosty broken one I seem to have grown into.

On a lighter note, I would like to re-iterate how intensely excited I am about Christmas, especially as Kitty Kat reminded me it is only two & a half weeks away!!!  I have made the decision, due to poverty & such, to not do gifts this year!  I have said every year that I wont do gifts & finally this year I have gone through with it!  Yes, I do accept that I shall wake to an empty tree, but Christmas is about more than gifts, especially when they turn out to be things you don't really want!  It's about the general feel of the season, the excitement, even if you know the big man no longer works the route, it's the food, the snuggling, the movies, ohhh, the Christmas movies!!!  How can you care about the gifts when you get all that!  It's about more than just one day, it's about the months of excitement beforehand, thinking how it's coming up & then all the buildup of December!  "It's the most wonderful time, yes the most wonderful time of the year!"

Think it's time for a bit of Sinatra's Christmas Carols, don't you?